Why Assuming Can Be Detrimental To Your Well-Being

“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.”

 ~ Henry Winkler

Assumptions are a part of our everyday lives. We use them to navigate the world, make decisions, and feel safe. But have you ever stopped to consider the consequences of these assumptions? When we assume something, we’re not taking the time to find proof or evidence to support it. We’re simply guessing based on past experiences or wishful thinking.

The problem with assumptions is that more often than not, we’re wrong. We can incorrectly assume someone’s intentions, actions, or even an entire outcome. And the damage that can be done when we assume without seeking the truth is immense.

Let me share a personal story with you. During the early years of my marriage, I often thought our apartment was haunted by poltergeists. It seemed more believable than assuming my husband simply didn’t care to listen when I repeatedly reminded him to close the kitchen cupboards and drawers. I would walk into them and bang my head, feeling frustrated and assuming his inaction meant he was careless and inconsiderate.

But here’s the thing – assumptions started to become a habit for me. I became less grounded in reality, and it began to create problems in our relationship. It wasn’t until years later when my husband was diagnosed with autism that everything started to make sense. His struggles in social settings, forgetfulness, and even his sleep patterns were all symptoms of his condition. I had been making erroneous conclusions based on my observations, emotions, and misguided beliefs.

Communication is key in any relationship, especially when one partner has special needs. We need to strive for clarity, ask for clarification, and listen carefully before responding. Nobody is perfect, and we all make mistakes, including false assumptions. Taking our time and slowing down can help us see assumptions more clearly and find the right way to work through them.

Start with challenging the validity of assumptions. I encourage you to come out of your comfort zone and seek a reality check when needed. By avoiding the trap of false assumptions, you can prevent pain, agony, embarrassment, missed opportunities, and failed relationships. So, when was the last time you assumed something that turned out to be inaccurate? And what will you do to avoid repeating that mistake?

Remember, assumptions may seem easy and safe, but they often lead us astray. Let’s strive for a healthier, assumption-free mindset and embrace the truth that lies beyond our assumptions.