The Power Of Perception
“The mind has great influence over the body, and maladies often have their origin there.”
~ Jean Baptiste Moliere
After hitting my 40’s, I couldn’t help but notice that my talent for hurling obscenities had reached new heights. I somehow managed to keep it PG in front of the kids, but every little thing they did or said that ticked me off would unleash a barrage of cutting words that hit them like a thousand pinpricks.
One minute I would be calm and rational, and the next, I’d transform into a fierce debater, ready to wage war over the smallest disagreement. It became a typical routine, blaming my erratic mood swings on hormones and lumpy pillows.
Of course, my vulnerability would drive everyone, including the cat (if only she wasn’t an indoor cat), to escape the house, not knowing if they’d be casualties to my foul-mouthed outbursts.
Initially, I reveled in the luxury of having some peace and quiet, finally enjoying the serenity I craved. It was like a vacation from the constant tug-of-war where everyone wanted a piece of me.
But soon enough, I’d be left feeling like the ugliest, most defective and craziest person on the planet, as if I had won some sort of worst-person-of-the-year award.
One morning, while cleaning up the aftermath of yet another explosive episode, I had a moment of reflection. I don’t actually enjoy being mean to others, and I definitely don’t love shouting and screaming all the time. I yearn for a quiet, fulfilling, and joyful life, just like everyone else. But why was I behaving like this? That remained a mystery.
Sure, I may have been tired or frustrated at times, but that doesn’t give me a free pass to unleash my verbal venom on those I hold dear, leaving them to lick their emotional wounds once I storm out of the room.
So What In The World Was Going On?
Was I consciously trying to sabotage my life and the lives of those around me? Was I in some kind of control frenzy? Or was it just a good old mid-life crisis? Maybe perimenopause was to blame?
Whatever the reason, or shall we say excuse, I felt absolutely terrible for hurting someone’s feelings. I mean, seriously, unless I wanted my family to be emotionally scarred forever, I knew I had to do something about it, and pronto.
As a nutritionist, I knew better than to drown my anger and irritability in synthetic drugs. So naturally, I scurried over to my “remedies” cupboard and loaded up on green tea, GABA lozenges, and liberally sprayed lavender essential oil everywhere I could (yes, I went all out!). These thigs did help and I’m sure without them, things would’ve been much worse. But alas, deep down, I still sensed something amiss within me.
I’m well aware that what we eat, the supplements we gulp down, and the exercises we put ourselves through all contribute to our overall well-being. But you know what? I’ve come to realize that all of that pales in comparison to the incredible mind-body connection.
And guess what? I was living proof of that mind-blowing fact! Despite my extensive knowledge of health, my life was still saturated with stress, fatigue, and utter misery. I couldn’t wrap my head around it.
How on earth can our thoughts have such a profound impact on our physical health?
These sneaky little thoughts can mess with our digestion, hijack the effectiveness of our workouts, sway our moods, appetites, sleep patterns, and even determine how we interact with others. Talk about having a powerful mind game going on!
I knew I had the power to create a life filled with joy, abundance, and radiant health. I just needed the right tools to carve out that path towards pure awesomeness.
Painful Past
Now, when we embark on our healing journey, we can’t escape peering into our past. As someone once brilliantly said, “Some of us spend our entire adult lives tidying up the mess left by negative childhood experiences.” Ain’t that the truth!
Childhood trauma can have a lasting impact on our beliefs, attitudes, and relationships. Ignoring the painful memories and emotions from our past can leave us feeling disconnected and stuck.
I personally experienced the physical and emotional abuse of growing up, with a father who had a violent temper and was emotionally unavailable. The constant arguing, slamming doors, and shattered plates created an anxiety within me that still lingers.
I used to blame myself for his actions, thinking if I had been better behaved, things would have been different.
I’d compare my pain to someone else who was less priviledged or who were victims of torture. But comparing our pain to others only keeps us from truly feeling our own emotions. We need to move beyond our intellect and embrace the motion of our feelings.
Lessons I’ve Learned On My Journey To Healing
To Forgive Those Who Caused Me Pain In The Past
It’s time to break free from the chains of my childhood past and embrace a fully empowered and healthy present. Forgiveness doesn’t mean acceptance of what happened; it means reclaiming my power and refusing to let the past define me any longer.
Unleash Positive Energy And Break Free From Patterns
By no longer belittling ourselves, allowing others to take advantage of us, or succumbing to the belief that everyone is out to harm us, we can stop attracting negative energy. It’s time to reject this toxic cycle and embrace authenticity, because that’s what true health and normalcy are all about.
Reclaim Your Life Force And Transform Your Reality
This negative energy drains our vitality, leaving us exhausted, angry, and full of frustration. It’s time to stop limiting our thoughts and start creating the reality we desire. We hold the power to shape our own situations.
Harness The Power Of Perception For Well-Being
Life throws challenges at us constantly, but how we respond is unique to each of us. Instead of giving in to fear and anxiety, we can choose to calm our minds and experience joy.
As Louise Hay teaches, the thoughts we think and the words we speak create our experiences. Our thoughts are powerful and have vibrations which can impact our well-being in countless ways.
Seize Control And Banish Worry
Ultimately, we hold the key to our own happiness. It’s within our control to refuse to be debilitated by worry. The choice is ours to make.
Where I Am Today
Coming face to face with my mental demons has been the key to unlocking the shackles of negative emotions and perceptions that held me back from living a truly fulfilling life.
I made a powerful shift by surrounding myself with inspirational quotes and repeating life-affirming mantras, like the empowering words, “I approve of myself.”
Today, I stand in a vastly improved place, although it’s an ongoing journey of progress. The venomous words are fading away, and the desire to escape to a secluded island is diminishing. Yes, there are still moments when darkness looms, but they pass swiftly.
I’ve come to understand the profound influence of our minds on our health and well-being, realizing that our thoughts shape our life experiences. The secret to genuine happiness lies in cultivating self-love. Each of us is a magnificent human being, striving to do our best.
If you find yourself overwhelmed by anxiety, stress, and frustration, resorting to food as a coping mechanism, venting at your feline companion for simply meowing, or blaming your past for present behaviors, it’s crucial to pause and listen to your thoughts.
Deep within your soul, there may be wounds longing for healing. Once you shift your focus to loving yourself, everything you desire will naturally flow towards you, as the world wholeheartedly embraces your radiance.
When was the last time you mentally checked in with yourself? What happens when you haven’t mentally housecleaned in a while?
REFERENCES
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. “How Do You Actually Learn To Love Yourself?” Mindbodygreen, Mindbodygreen, 26 Feb. 2020, www.mindbodygreen.com/0-15295/how-do-you-actually-learn-to-love-yourself.html
Hay, Louise. “Do You Truly Know How to Love Yourself?” Louise Hay, 14 Dec. 2016, www.louisehay.com/do-you-truly-know-how-to-love-yourself/
GLOSSARY
GABA – a key neurotransmitter that may play a role in a multitude of health conditions including depression, anxiety and PMS. When stressed, I suck on GABA lozenges like they are candy.
Green Tea – known to center the mind; contains the amino acid L-theanine, which in high doses helps combat anxiety and stress. Although green tea contains caffeine, it’s adaptogenic in nature so it keeps you alert yet calm enough without making you feel drowsy.
Lavender Essential Oil – a few drops on your pillow before bedtime can help calm your nervous system. It’s my go-to essence in aromatherapy for relaxation.